HOW TO SPEAK YOUR PARTNERS LOVE LANGUAGE.

Love & Relationships

Do you know how to speak your partners Love Language?

So do you? Can you speak your partners Love Language? I know that YOU know how YOU need your partner to show you they love you AND the way you show your partner how much you love them. But do you know how THEY like to show love and how THEY need to be shown love?

Gary Chapman Ph.D, a renowned Psychologist, developed the concept after 12 years of counselling married couples. This concept is now known as THE 5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE. Over the 12 years, Gary Chapman realised the one question EVERYONE asked – ‘I don’t think my partner loves me. How do I know that my partner loves me?’

All their responses in what they needed emotionally to know that their partner loved them fell into 5 categories. These 5 categories became the categories of the 5 Languages of Love.

1 – SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE IN PHYSICAL TOUCH.

The importance of a loving relationship
Loving touch is so important

If your partner loves being ‘touchy feely’ with you, then their love language is PHYSICAL TOUCH. They show their love for you by wanting to be physically close to you. It’s more than sexual chemistry, it is the simple act of being close such as of holding hands, cuddling on the couch or snuggling in bed.

If physical touch is your partners love language, the worst thing you can do is to refuse their affection. Being close to you is their way of showing their love for you. When you reject that affection, you are essentially rejecting their love.

Learn to speak your partners love language of PHYSICAL TOUCH.

2 – ACTS OF SERVICE.

Does your partner like to do things for you to make your day a bit less stressful? Maybe their language of love is ACTS OF SERVICE. For people whose language of love is Acts of Service, they will be saying things like ‘I’ll help you’ or ‘what can I do to make your day a bit better?’

But if this is their language, you will be showing them that you don’t value or appreciate them and their love for you if you take advantage of their wanting to help you, or if you show no appreciation for them, they will feel angered and upset.

Learn to speak your partners love language in ACTS OF SERVICE.

The importance of doing things for your partner
The importance of showing your partner how you love them by doing things for them.

3 – QUALITY TIME.

Spending quality time with your partner
The importance of spending quality time with your partner.

If spending dedicated time alone with you is really important to your partner, then their language is QUALITY TIME. What that means is that spending time alone with you is vitally important to them.

If this is their love language, then make sure you organise ways to spend time together. Don’t keep checking your phone or have distractions while you are together. Instead, create moments together – go for a walk, go for coffee to your favorite cafe. Take your partner out for dinner at their favorite restaurant or book a special weekend away. Create a special ‘Date Night’ once a month where you do something special together. How about being creative and starting a ‘Date Night Jar’?

Learn how to speak your partners language of love in QUALITY TIME.

4 – GIVING & RECEIVING GIFTS.

Showing your partner love by  giving gifts.
The importance of showing love by thoughtful gifts.

Does your partner like to surprise you with little gifts? Then their language of love is GIVING GIFTS. They show their love for you in special little surprises. It might be a little trinket from a trip away. Or a massage voucher.

But to show your recognising that this is their love language, express gratitude for their gifts. Surprise them with little gifts of your own. Don’t act annoyed or act like you feel that you have to reciprocate.

Learn how to speak your partners language of love in GIVING GIFTS.

5 – WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE THROUGH WORDS.

Does your partner feel great when you say something loving or affectionate to them? Then their love language is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. They love when you say ‘I love you’ or ‘You’re wonderful’. It makes them feel loved, protected and safe. THEY FEEL LOVED.

If this is your partners love language, then it is vital that you continually tell them how much you care about them. It doesn’t mean saying ‘I love you’ every 10 minutes, it just means being mindful that this is how they need you to show love to them. It’s as easy as saying ‘you look great today, honey’.

The worst thing you can do if this is your partners love language is to be critical of them. Or insult them or make a negative comment. This cuts so deeply for someone with a love language of Words of Affirmation.

Learn to speak your partners love language of WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Show your love through kind words
The importance of showing love by using kind & loving words.

WHAT IS YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE?

Wondering what is YOUR Love Language? Click on the link here to take the quiz yourself. Would love to know what YOUR Love Language is, so pop it into the comments below & let me know!

My Love Language is 30% WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, 27% QUALITY TIME, 27% PHYSICAL TOUCH, 7% ACTS OF SERVICE & 10% GIFT GIVING. My partners primary love language is Acts of Service followed by Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation. So what does that mean for me? It means that I want to show my partner how much I love and appreciate him by doing things for him to make his day easier, like cooking dinner. Because that is HIS Love Language. For me, I need loving words, quality time with my partner and I crave physical touch. Being the same percentage, I know straightaway that if I had to choose which is the most preferred of the two – it is definitely Physical Touch. I absolutely crave his cuddles, how he holds my hand and kisses my head.

So, do you have any special occasions coming up ie. wink wink …A PROPOSAL! CHECK OUT MY SERVICES PAGE here to find out what I can do to make this super special occasion even more special. Or maybe you want to show your SO some extra special surprises with personal mini dinner party – for 2.

I would LOVE to help you create a special occasion for you and your partner…If either of you have the love language of Quality Time….well you’re on a winner there! Have heaps of fun doing the quiz everyone – I hope that it creates even more emotional understanding between you and your love!

Lauren xx

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